Trail of Breadcrumbs

[Audrina]

As a child she had always loved the story of the children lost in the woods, lead out into the woods and left to die by a family who could no longer afford them. The part of the story where the children made it back home was always Audrina's favorite part of the story, because it proved that even the most meager of trails would lead you back home, even if there was an adventure that side tracked you. As an adult the story took on a whole new meaning for Audrina, which added to her delight in the story. The trail of breadcrumbs that you left yourself in life, though they may be eaten by birds, would always somehow lead you back home. The love of your family, even if it pains them to look at you, will always win in the end.

Except in Audrina's case. The love of her family, of her sister, would never win in the end. Lilith simply hated Audrina too much, for actions that Audrina didn't commit. It was not Audrina's fault that she fell in love with Lestat, things like love could not be controlled, no matter how much you would like for them to be. It was also not her fault that she grew sick, for as her heart broke so did she. She wanted more than anything for her sister to be happy, always, as far back as she could remember, at least, until Lilith killed everything they loved. Had she not released that d**ned butterfly, peace and order would be reigning throughout the land, versus the chaos and mayhem that currently ruled over the land she once called home.

Lestat knew of these pains that ripped through her heart, and try as he might, there was little that he could do to ease that pain. The love he gave her was tender and sweet, but even the truest of love could not soothe the burns of such scorns as Audrina carried. As she tried to figure out her sister, and a way to defend herself long enough to actually find the butterfly, Audrina balanced her emotions as if on the blade of a knife. It was a delicate trick, and the slightest interruption might send it all crashing down around her ears. Currently she was attempting to let go of the hurt she felt for herself, which would only be solved by forgiving herself for the hate she felt for those around her. Hate, a black emotion, is felt by everyone at least once in their lifetime, as you cannot be complete without it.

[Lestat]

I was observing the acreage of Nullius from a high window, as I often did. I often stared in disbelief at the lands which were once stunning...all I could see from my window now was simply the large, glowing moon, and the acres of dry land underneath it. I sighed at the ugliness of it all, but then I noticed the figure of my beloved, Audrina, walking through the bare gardens of Ventana. She seemed so beautiful and innocent, like a child, as she walked as if in a daze. Her long dark tassels danced in the breeze and with my higher senses, I could see her lovely violet eyes from where I stood. I was undecided for many moments as to whether I should meet her down in those gardens, as her whole body language told me that she would appreciate solitude, and that she was upset at that time. I glanced once again at her form...it appeared so small against the vast emptyness that was Nullius...I made up my mind, I would go down to comfort her...

Upon reaching the gardens, I looked around at the bare garden beds that were located everywhere around me. They seemed so out of place, without even a weed to grow out of them. The only foliage of any sort that grew here was the roses...which grew abundant on one wall of the gardens. Looking at Audrina once again, I walked to her slowly from behind, then reached out my long, muscular arms to wrap them aroung her waist. I may have startled her, I don't know, though that was not my intention. I gazed lovingly into her beautiful face and felt all the love I had for her come rushing through me like an overflowing river. I held her close to me for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her body against mine, and then I turned my face to whisper in her ear...

"My love, what brings you to the gardens on this warm, full-mooned night? You seem...drowned in thought...If you wish for solitude, I shall leave..."

[Audrina]

Audrina had felt Lestat coming, but chose to remain quiet and still so that he would do as he pleased. He usually comforted her whenever she seemed sad or in a foul mood. This night was no different, and she appreciated his arms around her, and his sweet words in her ear. There was not much else that he could do, except slay her sister, that would be of any more comfort to her. Audrina let a small sigh escape from her lips as she turned around in his embrace, and brought her arms around his waist.

"Lestat, you do not have to leave unless you wish it. I came here to reflect upon our situation, as I have done on so many other nights, and try and master a way out of this mess."

Sad, violet eyes turned away from Lestat's face and focused on the pale moonlight reflecting off the roses on the far wall. So many nights she had forgotten that the roses were the symbol of life that might once again be restored to Nullis, life that was stripped away by hatred and foolishness... Audrina closed her eyes and let her arms fall to her sides. How long would she be able to continue in this manner? It was not helping Lestat or her people that she kept blaming herself for the acts of her sister, though according to her sister she was the one to blame for everything. Why did it have to feel like Audrina was the one who had caused the end of the world as she knew it?

"Love, I know I have asked this question many times, and as long as I carry the worries in my heart, I will always ask it. When we find the butterfly, and restore it, is there a chance all life and mirth will return to what it once was?"

[Lestat]

I curved the corners of my thin lips into a sweet, comforting smile. I felt the same pain that tortured Audrina's thoughts, the questioning of whether Nullius would actually replenish. I had no doubt that once found, the butterfly could certainly do something so great, but whether it would do it was my query. I started to think of Quicksand, the mysterious stranger who introduced us to the butterfly in the first place. I wondered if he was watching the repulsive state of Nullius, and if so, I wondered what he was thinking of it all. I focused deeply into the beautiful violet eyes of my beloved, and gave an optimistic answer to her question, I had to keep the hope alive...

"My sweet Audrina, I believe that there is such power present in the butterfly to restore the whole world if it were in Nullius's state...but I also think that we must remain hopeful in order to retrieve it. Your father and I stayed trusting when you were burdened with that awful illness, and we were rewarded with the butterfly...If we don't let our hopes die, we will overcome this obstacle..."

Throughout the many depressing years, I had tried my hardest to stay poised and unflagging. It was difficult, but I believed that I had to try and keep Audrina upbeat. I felt such sympathy for my amazing partner, for her loss was much greater than mine...and life had taken such a large toll on her. I often saw her with vacant eyes, wandering the castle as if in a dream...her mind racing with the 'what if's' and 'could haves' that troubled us all.

Without warning I strode to where the roses grew in a large batch on the far wall. I examined them, then after selecting the prettiest of them all, I walked back to Audrina and handed her the delicate flower. I kept my gaze directly in her eyes, and spoke softly, reassuringly to her.

"My love, there is a reason for everything in life. A reason to exist, love, fight and lose. I know in my heart that these roses grow in Nullius for a reason. Don't you find it odd that the very flower you had asked me to retrieve on that day, still flourishes when all other plants died long ago? I think that the butterfly is still around somewhere and that once we find it...all will be as it should be..."

[Audrina]

Audrina knew what Lestat was trying to tell her, but the words lost meaning as it passed into her brain. Yes, things would probably right themselves again, but would it be instant like the death of the land had been, or would it be slow and painful like everything afterward seemed? Who knew what would happen once the butterfly was found? Not even her wisest adviser could tell her of these things, for no one could see into the future. It was all covered over by dust and decay, waiting for a time which may or may not come.

"All will be as it should be..."

Audrina reached her hand toward Lestat's hand and pulled it close to her bosom, and broke her eye contact with him. The words in her heart could not be spoken, for they did not speak a language that she knew, but one heart could speak to another, as she had known with her father before he died. It was a quiet process and she had to feel Lestat's heart beating in time with hers before she would know that he knew her heart. The rose fell to the ground gently as she took a step toward him, her head still bent, her free hand reaching for his and holding it tightly.

Audrina's heart beat slower and slower until she could feel the vibrations of Lestat running through her, and they were pulsing as one. At that moment she lifted her head and gazed into his eyes, and felt the spark that let her know their hearts connected. In those moments she could feel his pain and anguish, as she was sure that he could feel hers, and the love and compassion that Lestat felt for her. It was a bitter moment, surrounded by hate that Audrina couldn't express, and before she passed out she dropped his hands from hers and staggered backwards.

She did not speak, for she did not need to. The emotions deep inside her were now in Lestat's mind as well, the best and only way for you to tell someone else how you are thinking and feeling. The love in her heart was not mentioned, for she felt the great and ceaseless love also from Lestat.

[Lestat]

I felt our hearts beating at one rhythm as Audrina connected us on another level. I felt her pain and anguish running through my own body, which sent strange, aching sensations throughout my veins. Our eyes met, and I felt a small shock as Audrina stumbled backwards before fainting. (OOC: I don't know if that's what you meant by 'passed out'...but that's how I interpreted it...I will change it if it's wrong)

The tormenting fears for the future had my beloved yearning the for peace and beauty that Nullius should have still possessed. It hurt to see her so burdened, but I believed the only way we could restore Nullius would be to retrieve that butterfly. I went to where my love lay peacefully on her back, the rose that I had handed her beforehand resting near her beautiful face. I picked it up and placed it in her hand, being careful to remove any thorns first...then a question that had entered my head during the joining of hearts came to my mind...and I attempted to answer it in my own opinion, as spoke to Audrina as though she was still conscious.

"My sweet Audrina, the future cannot be known to anyone, that is the mystery of life. This does not mean that there is no hope...trust in the unknown my love...as hard as it may be...In times like these we must have faith..."

My voice trailed off as I lifted Audrina's figure into my arms. I held her without difficulty as I sat with her sprawled over my legs. I gazed into her face, my shadowed eyes admiring it's beauty as kissed her softly on her cheek. We would have to carry on, no matter how painful. I believed that love held powers of it's own, and the love that was exchanged between us was powerful enough to change Nullius for the better without assistance. There would never come a day when I left this magical land...even if it was currently suffering...I just had a lingering feeling that everything would work out well in the end. I smiled softly at Audrina's limp form as I awaited for her to awaken.

[Audrina]

Audrina was lost in a frozen wasteland, alone in the blinding white. It was Nullis, but so very different from the land she had come to accept. It was even more vast and devastated than the dead world around her in her waking world, but she wasn't frightened. There before her were her emotions and feelings splayed wide open, dancing and swirling in a mad rush of chaos as the snow pelted around her. There was so much sadness in her heart, so much that she wished she could rip out and throw away so that her mind could be green and lush once again, so that the creatures of her happiness could once again bound through the streams of her joy and satisfaction.

Why did everything have to be so difficult? If she took away the sadness in her, she would be no more. It had engulfed her, made her so entangled that if she were to detach from it suddenly she would surely die. Not that it would be a bad thing for the pain to go away, but she honestly didn't think she was strong enough to be able to do it. It hurt so badly that she didn't have the will to cry anymore, and as she thought this she suddenly saw before her a dam, and saw leaks trying to break through the cracks. Pressure was building up, and as she watched, water began flowing over the dam, breaking the structure and sending a wall of water toward her. She braced herself, knowing that if she continued to let her walls retain her emotions that she would burst, and as the water flowed over her she jerked awake.

It was then that she realized that she was in Lestat's arms, and without warning her eyes opened up and she began to cry. She cried for her father, her sister, her people, Lestat, and lastly, herself. It felt good, and yet it felt horrible, knowing that she denied herself these feelings for so long.

[Lestat]

I held my beautiful lady firmly within my strong arms. She tossed uneasily as she lay with her delicate violet eyes tightly closed, confronted with the pain that taunted her even in her dreams. I felt so much sadness for her, such a gentle soul should never have to endure so much suffering. I gently reached out my left hand to caress the loose tassels that hung in Audrina's pretty facade. My shadowed eyes began to dwell hot tears of pity, both self pity and the pity of those who had also lost in this seemingly endless torture. Suddenly, I saw my beloved's bottomless pools open with a jolt, causing me to stop my sadness and remain strong for the both of us.

Her lovely amethyst eyes parted to reveal a stream of tears the travelled down her cheeks and perished upon her crimson lips. I held her closer, wanting to absorb her pain and make it my own. In a way I knew that it was good for her, crying was a way of calming one's sadness and thus, making it more bearable. I looked down at Audrina's face lovingly, my expression remaining kind, soft. Her soft wimpers hit my ears like a loud bang, making me too aware of her condition, broken.

I stood up slowly, holding my love in my arms as I rose. I turned to face the entrance to the castle, as I pondered ways of easing Audrina's pain. Her tears had ceased slightly, she remained in her hollow state doing nothing but making soft sobs and gazing at me with those haunted eyes, shadowed underneath from her worry and despair. I managed to smile softly, trying to show comfort, as I spoke in a lullaby - like tone of voice.

"Everything will turn out fine my love, I am sure of it. Nothing in this world cannot be corrected for the better. Now, would you like to return to the castle for some rest? Or would you rather remain in the gardens for a while?"

[Audrina]

"Everything will turn out fine my love, I am sure of it. Nothing in this world cannot be corrected for the better. Now, would you like to return to the castle for some rest? Or would you rather remain in the gardens for a while?"

His voice called out to her as if from a dream, and Audrina clung to him as if the world was about to fall away. No; the world had already fallen away, and now they were simply walking a fine line, something that if they fell off of would cause them to lose their reality forever. Audrina was both horrified and mystified all at once; the drop below her was infinite, and the line before her stretched on forever. What could she do but hold onto Lestat and take one step at a time?

As she tried to clear the tears from her eyes, she nodded. Going inside sounded good, but at the same time the garden in the moonlight was very lovely indeed. A part of her wanted to simply get on a horse and ride until the sun threatened to rise, as she could not think with the wind in her eyes and hair, the thudding of the horse filling the spaces of mental anguish with physical pain. But alas, it would be best if she returned and rested, giving herself time to manage her emotions.

"I think it would be best to go inside. I do not wish to linger here for now."

A smile was attempted, and slowly one broke through her tears, definitely clearing them away. The love given by Lestat was true, and his compassion for her made her feel better no matter what her thoughts were.

[Lestat]

Like a rainbow appears to cease the heavy rain, a lovely smile slowly broke over Audrina's lips to calm her tears of despair. Upon telling me that she wished to go inside I gently gathered my lady's slight weight into my arms and held her for a moment, my lips lingering on her forehead while I simply enjoyed the feeling of her being in my embrace. The moon's bright glow made Audrina's recent tears shimmer in silver streaks, tears which I softly wiped away with my hand while still holding my love in my arms. My shadowed eyes showed compassion as I gazed into her violet eyes, eyes so bright and beautiful that they should never have experienced sadness.

"Well then my sweet Audrina, let us rest. We can retire early this morning, I believe it would do us both well."

As I headed for our chambers holding Audrina safetly within my grasp, my mind was filled with hatred and revenge. I could not hold back the overwhelming anger that came with witnessing Audrina break down, and although my expression remained vacant and poised, I was silently plotting possible ways of revenge on Lilith and her pathetic coven of vultures. No one would cause my love and myself such hurt and live to reap the rewards...

...and so my mind remained burdened with it's darkened thoughts as I prayed for our salvation...